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one year ago today

October 27, 2009

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i stopped into harborview to say goodbye. she had had a major stroke just days before, and we all knew she wasn’t coming back. in death, just as in life, she went big. it was meant to be a quick visit, i had plans to attend a political fundraiser that night. her room was packed with family and friends. there were so many that they had had to move her into a private room. as i spoke with them, she took a turn for the worse. she was ready to go. no more waiting for her daughter to get in from germany. i held her hand for the next hour, told her it would be okay, trembled at the sound of her struggling to get air, and watched her take her last breathe. it was the most spiritual thing i have ever experienced. it was absolutely the ending she would have wanted. she died as she lived: peacefully, spiritually, surrounded by the people who defined her life. i take peace in that. but i miss her every step of the way.

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